The wonderful world of apostrophes

Do you guys remember what a greengrocers’ apostrophe is? I bet you do.

It’s that horrible little thing when people mean to say the plural of a noun and then write it with an apostrophe that isn’t supposed to be there.

A few funny examples of greengrocers’ apostrophes that I’ve found:

I also bet you’ve wondered why people screw it up so much. Now I can’t speak for any native speakers here, but as a Dutch speaker that speaks English as a second language, I know why we Dutch tend to mess it up. It’s because of our Dutch grammar.

In Dutch there are different rules for using the apostrophe and thanks to this, the Dutch folks not as well versed in the English language are more likely to slip up when using apostrophes.

The rule that gets the Dutch into trouble mostly is this one:

The apostrophe is used with words in plural that end with a, e, i, o, u or y that are preceded by a consonant or syllable boundary. Syllable boundary means that the ‘e’ at the end sounds like /ee/.

Then you get plurals like this:

Opa’s, azalea’s, ski’s, auto’s, accu’s, baby’s. (See how we stole most of these words? Opa means granddad by the way).

This even comes with a bunch of exceptions. I won’t bore you with those.

Now you can see why (certain) foreigners can be horribly confused when using apostrophes. The aforementioned rules aren’t of impact on you natives though, so I’m going to move a little deeper into the wonderful world of the apostrophe; I’m going to give you the actual CP stylebook rules! Yay!

These are:

1. Use an apostrophe to denote possession.

Santa’s socks, Rudolph’s nose, a llama’s hat etc.

2. Use an apostrophe to indicate the omission of letters or figures.

She’d, it’s, couldn’t, rock ‘n’roll, “Give ‘em hell!”, the early ‘30s etc.

3. Use an apostrophe with verbs formed from capitals.

OK’s, OK’ing, KO’d, MC’ing, X’d out.

4. Use an apostrophe in plurals of lowercase letters.

Mind your p’s and q’s. Dot your i’s and cross your t’s.

5. In general, do not use an apostrophe with plurals of capital letters or numbers.

She graduated with straight As, the three Rs, the ABCs, two VIPs, a formation of F-18s, the Dirty ‘30s.

There is an exception to this rule however; you use an apostrophe with plurals of capital letters if it helps avoid ambiguity. E.g. A’s in math and physics are hard to come by.

6. Do not use an apostrophe to form the plurals in expressions like the whys and wherefores.

Here are a few dos, don’ts and maybes. I don’t want any ifs, ands or buts. Just give us straight yeses or noes.

You use an apostrophe to form the plurals of words being discussed as words though. E.g. three as’s, too many is’s, not enough the’s.

7. Do not use an apostrophe with shortened forms that have become accepted as complete words.

Cello, copter, flu, gym, phone.

This is all you need to know about apostrophes. The next time you browse the Internet, just remember, not everybody is a native English speaker…

(Disclaimer: this does not include horrible 13 year old spelling and the like).

When is it appropriate to capitalize?

Have you ever wondered how to refer to Kate Middleton ever since she married Prince William? Do you call her the duchess or use her full title, Duchess of Cambridge? Have you also wondered which of these words should be capitalized and how to know when you should use capitals or lowercase? Below are a few general rules that will help you to identify when you need to capitalize.

Capitalize…

1. All proper names
Example: David Turnbull

2. Names of departments and agencies of national and provincial departments
Example: Ministry of Transportation or Health Canada Example: parks department

3. Trade names
Example: “He lived for a year on Big Macs and Timbits.”

4. Names of associations
Example: the Canadian Public Relations Society

5. Names of companies
Example: Seneca College

6. Name of clubs
Example: The Rotary Club of Toronto

7. Names of religions
Example: Church of Scientology Example: Scientology churches

8. Names of languages
Example: Broken Slavey

9. Name of races
Example: First Nations

10. Name of places
Example: Toronto

11. Addresses
Example: 123 Yonge Street

These are the main concepts and examples that will help you identify when to capitalize and when to use lowercase. When in doubt remember the eleven general rules of capitalization. When using titles of nobility or religion to refer to an individual instead of using their name. Capitalize, for example: Duchess of Cambridge. When using the short form, use lowercase such as duchess. When in doubt check your Canadian Press Stylebook.

The Serial Comma

The serial comma, also called the Oxford comma, is the comma that comes before the final conjunction in a list. I’ve noticed many people use it inconsistently, probably because we’ve been taught different things at different times.

Unlike other punctuation, the Oxford comma stirs up powerful emotions. There are people whose devotion to the Oxford comma runs so deep that they would sell an organ if it meant they could continue to make a small, curved mark before the word "and" for the rest of their lives. These are often people who study typography and collect quirky vintage books titled Home Taxidermy for Pleasure and Profit. If you have recently heard someone extolling the virtues of coffee made with a siphon or of a particular series of Penguin editions, you've met an Oxford comma devotee.

These dedicated souls are fighting a losing battle. Most North American style guides, including the AP guide and the CP guide, advice against using it in most cases.

Here's what the CP stylebook has to say:

Put commas between the elements of a series but NOT before the final and, or or nor.

He was tall, dark and handsome.

He gave her flowers, chocolates and herpes.

DO, however, use a comma after the final and, or or nor in a series if it avoids confusion.

She listened to The Cure, Siouxsie and the Banshees, and the Jesus and Mary Chain.

We ordered three pizzas: pepperoni, tomato and cheese, and pepper and mushroom.

Not a big deal, right? And now, a song.